untamable
by booklover121
Summary: Cato isn't the cold killer he always appears to be. He has his reasons for volunteering for the Games. He has plans for the time after. And he never doubted that there would be an After - until her.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey, hope you'll all like it. Well if there is anybody going to read this... :) Anyway - Please, please review if you like it or hate it or whatever. I would really love to get some feedback 3**

I knew it from the moment on that I saw the reaping.

She, the small girl from 12, would be my greatest opponent in the arena.

Me and Clove were sitting on the couch, Enobaria in a leather chair, watching the TV.

I sat motionless, feeling the adrenalin slowly leave my body now that we had a second to sit down and relax for the first time in hours.

Well relax wouldn't be the right word. I hardly ever relaxed. My life had been a mix of training, school and falling into bed late at night after I drove my body to its absolute limits for what felt like ever.

I still couldn't quite believe it.  
I was finally here, in a train on my way to the capitol, only a few days away from the arena. The place I had trained for since I had been eight years old, the place I could finally fulfill what had always been my purpose in life.

A small bitter smile appeared on my face before I could suppress it. I internally scolded myself. I had trained my body for years, but I had also trained my mind, which had been even harder than the physical aspect. I could handle extreme heat and cold without flinching, I could go days without eating anything and still be in top shape, think clearly. I could handle pain to an extreme extent, and still fight like no ones business when heavily injured.

But most important, I could train my expression into a mask of boredom and cold indifference, I never showed any signs of weakness or real emotions. I don't even know when the last time was that I genuinely smiled or laughed.

Maybe all that seemed sad or tragic or some sentimental bullshit like that, but I didn't need nor did I want to be pitied. I was proud of what I had achieved, it was the product of years of hard work and it didn't come without sacrifices, but you have to be willing to pay a certain price if you want something bad enough. And I _had_ paid it without a second thought.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Clove said "Hmm... seems a little too confident but he would probably do as an alliance for the first few days, depending on how he can handle his weapons... Although I wouldn't mind cutting that smirk of his face, slowly and painfully..."

She chuckled and Enobaria sported a small smirk herself, even though she said "be careful not to get overconfident yourself"

I tuned their conversation out and focused on the television.

There was a blonde guy standing in front of a roaring crowd with a confident smile on his face, like Clove had said. I ruled him out as real competition. Although he may be helpful in an alliance at first until only the stronger tributes remained.

Next was a girl apparently called _Glimmer_. I inwardly snorted. Well she definitely looked like a Glimmer. She had a voluptuous body, long blonde hair and blue eyes. One could definitely describe her as a bomb shell, but I wasn't distracted by her body.

Being tall, practically a wall of muscles, and apparently having a pretty face too, if one believed the girls, I never had to worry about the attention of females. Of course planning on volunteering for the Hunger Games didn't exactly hurt my image. The most beautiful girls of our district wanted to be with me - and I often enough let them - but only for one or two nights.

I didn't need the distraction for one but I also didn't want to string somebody along. I would lead a completely different life once I won the games and there would be no room for them. Besides there was never a girl I wanted to stay with for a longer period of time. They were all the same to me. Even though every one of them seemed to be under the illusion that they were something special and that I would change my ways for them.

The girl – Glimmer – looked like she could be a decent fighter and was obviously trained for the arena, but her bubbly smile didn't suggest a sharp mind behind the body.

Next came my own reaping. I watched myself volunteer and make my way towards the stage. I noted contentedly that my expression and the trained smirk I sported gave nothing away.  
Next was Clove who had a crazed smile on her face.

I knew her from training, she had only started a year after me with it and was absolutely deadly with her knives.  
We weren't friends exactly but we had somewhat of a mutual understanding. We were both determined to win the Game at any cost. I wasn't sure about her motivation but I was sure that she had another one other than bringing glory to our district. If someone was as determined as the two of us, there was always a personal reason behind it other than survival.

The difference between the two of us was that she reveled in killing, enjoyed it, while I did it out of necessity with a cold efficiency.  
It was also her weakness. She lost herself in killing, got absorbed in it and was thus an easy target while doing it. Moreover she didn't always think strategically when she saw a chance of killing.

The next districts weren't really interesting, until district 11 was shown. The little girl looked barely twelve. I hoped I wouldn't have to be the one to kill her, although it wasn't likely. She wouldn't be able to hold herself in combat and would either be killed at the cornucopia during the first fight or would die of hunger, thirst or freeze to death.

The male tribute was another story. He was huge and muscled, wearing a grim expression. He seemed like the only other opponent worth my effort until now, and probably would remain the only one because it had been years or maybe decades since somebody likely to win was chosen in 12.  
He would be a great ally but somehow I didn't think that he would join the didn't have the best reputation in the other districts, and it was seen as bad form to join the Careers.

When I saw the little girl in 12 walking towards the front I mentally groaned. _Really?_ Another twelve year old?

But then I saw_ her_.

She ran forward shoving the little girl aside and shouting that she would volunteer. The little girl protested and tried to stop her from mounting the stage, but a tall dark haired guy came and held the twelve year old back.

_She_ told them her name – Katniss – and exchanged a glance with the guy. Hmm, maybe her boyfriend.

I noticed that she shared her last name with the little girl. Sisters. I had to give it to her, most people didn't have a strong sense of family on the day of the reaping.

My eyes were glued to the TV, fascinated.  
She wasn't beautiful in the classical meaning of the word. She wasn't curvy, but her sinewy form spoke of strength and agility. She had silky brown hair and held her head high with a defiant tilt to it. Her face was pretty but her _eyes_ were what drew my attention. There was something wild and _untamable_ in them. They reminded me of _him_.

The male tribute was drawn, but I concentrated on the girl – _Katniss_ – again, when I saw the softness in his eyes. Her expression remained stoic and not one tear escaped her stormy gray eyes, in contrast to other tributes who can't stop bawling throughout the whole ceremony.  
She didn't seem resigned and broken with the prospect of going into the games, but rather determined and resolved – she looked like a survivor.

And exactly these people were the most dangerous. She had something or rather someone to fight for, someone she loved so much that she went into the Games for them, in other words into almost certain death. And she had someone to come back to.

I knew then and there that she would be my true opponent, that it would be between me and her in the end. And I wasn't sure anymore that it would be _me_ coming out as the winner.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:**_ Hey everyone :) Hope you don't hate me too much ... (hopefull expression?) apologising for not posting for over one and a half month probably won't work but I went on vacation for a week (without my laptop) after posting the first chapter and after that I had like two exams per week for a month or so and I even wrote the chapter during that time but somehow I couldn't stand it and now I finally came to going over it again and I like it slightly more now ;) And I really think I will manage to post earlier the next times because it will be holiday time in few weeks (Yay :D)

But a really huge thaks to everyone who's following the story and especially to HeyoMyFellowReaders101, infamous3, wishfulthinking123 who reviewed me - THANK YOU! (Because lets face it - I really wouldn't have continued writing this if it weren't for you all ...)

* * *

"Urgghhh" I spluttered, trying to get rid of the strange peach foam I had swallowed when I had accidentally turned the wrong dial in this high tech shower. I tried to find out how to adjust the temperature and after a bit of fumbling I somehow managed to do it.  
Reason for that was probably that my mind was now fully awake due to my little peach incident. I went through the motions almost robotically but after I was done showering and putting on clothes my thoughts inevitably wandered back to last night.

Back to a certain Avox. I just couldn't get her out of my head. The guilt for not having rescued her was eating at me. It was ironic, I had been too afraid to help her then, to defy the Capitol in such a huge way but now she was watching me go into practically certain death because of the Capitol, our roles were reversed and I was pretty sure that even if she could help me in some way - and I highly doubted it - but even if she could, she would probably rather try killing me herself than helping me survive.

The thing was that I _did_ defy the Capitol at home practically every day. But I wasn't a rebel. I only hunted to keep me and my family alive. I didn't even curse the Capitol like Gale did all the time because I didn't see what difference it made, yeah I hated the Capitol with my whole being but I wasn't strong enough to _change_ something, to really go against the Capitol, because to me it didn't matter if I died for a honorable cause when at the end of the day my family would starve because of it.

I couldn't get rid of these thoughts all morning, but when Evie finally knocked on my door and I knew I would have to face all the other Tributes face to face in a few minutes a whole new fear ignited in my belly. It made it all the clearer to me that the games weren't about showing off glorious costumes and waving to the crowd like last night would want me to believe – no it was about killing innocent children for the entertainment of privileged people.

The elevator ride down to the gymnasium was silent and Peeta looked a bit nauseous probably due to nervousness about meeting the other tributes and I hoped that my face didn't reveal as much as Peeta's. But the doors opened abruptly and I didn't have time to think anymore.

I straightened my spine and held my head high. Keeping my face blank I walked into the room and let my eyes wander over the other tributes.

I had already seen them all on TV at their reaping. But somehow it was completely different to see them, sitting there in front of me, than through a screen.  
On TV I had seen them as my opponents, as a threat. I had coldly analyzed them mostly according to their body and still the difference between the bulging muscles of some of the Carriers and the bony limbs of others was painfully obvious. But now I also saw them as just a bunch of kids, afraid of what they would have to face. And even though there was desperation, determination or even cold arrogance in their eyes, I knew that deep down they were all afraid of what it truly meant to be a Tribute - like me.

But another thing i noticed, was that they all seemed so normal. Most of them could be going to my school and not seem out of place, they didn't look like killing machines (well maybe except for some Carriers) even though the Games would turn some of them into exactly that.

Moreover I couldn't help but notice how alive all of them seemed, how every pair of eyes hid a different story, an entire life. How every one of them had loved ones back home, like I had Prim, and how I may have to destroy some of those lives, those stories, some persons life and consequently also the life of those left behind. The irony was that "have to" wasn't even the right word. No one would force me to kill. I would always have a choice. But if I wanted to come back to Prim I wouldn't really have a choice and the same was probably true for most of the other tributes. The Capitol didn't exactly turn us into killing machines. Our love to other or live itself did.

As I sat down the head trainer started to talk about different stations, but I only listened with one ear, still deep in thought and continued surveying the other tributes.

There was the twelve year old who seemed out of herself with fear. I immediately had to think about Prim and my heart made a painfull leap. I looked away from the girl - Rue - and tried to ban all thoughts of my familie. Next to her sat an unremarkable boy with brown hair, next to him a small girl with red hair, but there was something in her eyes that told me that she wouldn't be easy prey. As I continued studying the rows of Tributes my gaze stopped on a boy. He was staring me directly in the eyes, silently studying me.

He was tall probably about 6'2 and as my gaze swept from his legs to slim hips and upwards to broad shoulders I couldn't see anything but clearly defined and bulging muscles. When my eyes returned to his face my gaze slid over high cheekbones, the perfect cupids bow of his lips, blonde tousled hair, and finally I returned to electric blue eyes that still seemed to try to see all the way inside of me. His stare made me uncomfortable and I wanted to look away but somehow I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away.

I remembered his name then – Cato – male tribute from district two. He was clearly a Career and I almost managed to continue my study of the other Tributes now that the mystery of who he was, was solved. But as I looked into his eyes I couldn't help but be fascinated by their expression. They seemed cold, distant, practically void of emotion but if you took a closer look there was something in them, a spark of determination and I wasn't quiet sure but I thought I detected a hint of a deep sadness in them that surprised me. But before I could take a closer look someone tapped me on the shoulder causing me to flinch and turn around.

"Sorry" Peeta said quietly as I stood and I suddenly noticed that most of the others had already left for one of the stations.

"I just wanted to ask where you would like to start." Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten that Haymitch had told us to stay together. A scowl formed on my face.  
I should be fully concentrating on improving my skills but here I was, letting myself get distracted because I hadn't let myself fully realize that I would have to kill a bunch of innocent kids, and now I would have Peeta as a tag along and potential distraction too.

I forced myself to sound civil as I told him that I wanted to start with the snares. I think I failed but Peeta kept a straight face and just started walking towards the station. I kept myself from looking back toward the boy with the electric blue eyes and tried to fully focus on the task ahead.

We didn't talk much at the station, I was too absorbed in what the instructor told us. I had gained some basic knowledge from Gale which turned out to be helpful now but I still learned a great deal. That lessened my frustration a bit because I felt somewhat less helpless as we changed station where we learned the art of camouflage next, a skill Peeta apparently had perfected. I felt a gaze burning on the back of my head but when I turned around I could only see a glimpse of blue and then a spear sailing 50 feat through the air and directly piercing a dummy where the heart would be.

And suddenly my frustration and anger rose again. It was just so unfair. While Cato could handle a spear like he had been born throwing one, Peeta's best skill was smearing paint on himself so that he could hide out. How were we supposed to have a chance against the Careers?

But I had to remind myself that none of this was about fairness, because nothing about the Hunger Games was what one could consider fair. I should rather concentrate my anger and energy on trying to improve my skills, then on hating the Careers. Because even though they had a better chance at winning they didn't invent and enforce the Games. And when I thought about the sadness I had detected in Cato's eyes I couldn't help but think that the Games left it's mark on the people there too because I couldn't imagine what it did to a kid to be trained to be a vicious killer when it was still in elementary school.

After a while at the camouflage station it was time for lunch and all the tributes headed towards the cafeteria. I grabbed a plate and loaded it full of food we couldn't even dream of ever having in my district and walked towards an empty table with Peeta.

We tried to hold a conversation but it felt awkward and stilted on my part, while Peeta talked and laughed like a pro.

The Careers sat at a table directly in my line of sight and as I watched I noticed that Cato was clearly the leader of the group, they all looked up to him, impressed and scared simultaneously. He was loud and boasting but as I studied him closer I could see that he was faking it. His eyes were as emotionless as they had ever been. Plus he seemed like the type to really talk with actions not words.

As I studied their group it was also apparent that I hadn't been the only person fascinated by Cato. A curvy blonde was watching him with admiring eyes. I thought it was the one from district 1 with the ridiculous name, but I wasn't sure. She practically melted every time he looked at her and eagerly nodded at everything he said. She always tried to touch him and one could see the desperate desire for him in her eyes. I snorted involuntarily and looked away. He didn't pay her any attention and he would probably kill her in a heartbeat if he deemed it useful.

Peeta was looking at me a bit strange but continued to talk about his pastries. When we were finished eating we went back to the stations. I decided to try knife throwing since there was a pretty good chance of getting one in the arena. Or at least a better chance than the one of getting bow and arrows.

On my first try, the knife went into the most outer ring of the target and I got frustrated when that didn't improve after three other tries. Peeta had gone to the wrestling station after declaring that he was totally useless at knife throwing and would probably always be, so at least no one witnessed my failure. That was until two Carriers came over to my station.

It was Cato and the girl from his district but I couldn't seem to remember her name. Cato stood in front of the target to my left and the girl stood at the target next to him. I tried to ignore them and continue throwing. But I couldn't help but look at them from the corner of my eye.

Cato seemed really good and hit the bulls eye nearly every time while standing several feet farther from it than me, but that was nothing in comparison to the girl. She hit it every single time. She got bored quickly and wandered a few rows down to where there were human like dummies. She made the trainer point to parts of the body and let him throw the puppet in the air and then she would hit them precisely with her eyes closed. It was scary. And I still only managed to hit the outer rings of my target, it was unnerving.

"You should bend your left knee more and you have to keep your right shoulder still." the deep and gruff voice startled me and I looked to my left. But Cato was still throwing his knifes staring directly ahead. I took his hint and looked away like nothing had happened. When I took my next knife I tried to pay attention to what he had said. The first time it felt awkward but by the time I threw the third knife I got the hang of it and it actually hit directly next to the bulls eye.

"Thanks" I said silently only looking at him from the corner of my eyes. He tilted his head slightly, acknowledging me. I tried to look around inconspicuously to see if anybody had noticed our interaction but everybody seemed to be focused on their own task apart from Peeta who was walking towards me. But he didn't look like he noticed something strange. When he stopped in front of me he asked"Are you finished?"

"Yeah, I just want to throw two more, then we can go." I held a knife up to illustrate my point and Peeta nodded. I turned towards the target and threw. Cato next to me rapidly threw four knifes without pausing at the target, each one crowded against the other on the bulls eye, and abruptly turned and left. I threw my last knife happy when it hit the bulls eye and turned towards Peeta. He was watching Cato go towards the sword station.

"Is there some sort of deadly weapon this guy has not mastered?" He asked flatly. I only shrugged "He's a vicious killer if I ever saw one" he murmured to himself and when I continued to look at him silently he finally turned to me and seemed to come out of his musings. "So what do you wanna try next?".

We went to the spears next but all the while I couldn't help but think about what Peeta had said. Cato definitely seemed like a vicious killer but why, I couldn't help but wonder, would a vicious killer want to help me.


End file.
